I am MOTHER OF THE YEAR!!!!

No matter how hard you try to figure out your kids, they will ALWAYS surprise you. I learned this lesson again today while dining at McDonalds with some gals from my mops group. A great time was had by all. There were about 10 kids between the 4 of us although it seemed like about 25. Us ladies were busy gabbing, while ignoring the chaos around us when my cell phone rings. Normally in a situation like this I would not answer the phone as it is loud and it looks really bad when your kid is running nuts and you are on the phone. Today though I did not recognize the number and thought to myself I better take this.
This is the interesting part. On the other end of the phone is Mrs. Kitchenmaster (yes that is her real name) the school nurse at my kids school. I knew immediately this call was pertaining to Tyler because Jacob NEVER goes to the nurse. She begins to tell me that Tyler has a stomach ache. I said ok, should I come get him? Here is where it gets funny..... She says, " well Mrs. Jeeninga, he says that he has been having stomach aches every morning and that he doesn't get breakfast. We, here at school, offer free breakfast and lunch to all kids if you are having trouble. I will send home the application for you with Tyler today. We gave him some cereal this morning and have also offered him some lunch." At this point, I am having a hard time holding my composure. I explained to Mrs. Kitchenmaster that my children are offered a quality, high protein breakfast every morning and a lunch is packed for them every day except Friday when they buy lunch with the money put on their lunch accounts. While I can appreciate her acting on the information provided by my now grounded, attention seeking child, really we are doing ok and are fully able to provide food for our children. And then it goes on....." have their been any problems or changes at home in the past weeks that could be causing this. Because you know often times stomach aches are just a cover up for deeper emotional issues. Or maybe he is having trouble with someone at school? Have you discussed this with him?" "Not as of yet" I replied," but I have every intention of TALKING to him when I see him. In fact, how about I come pick him up now and see if we can get to the bottom of this while it is still fresh." So off I go to the school to pick up Tyler. Now I am angry, embarrassed, and finding all of this a little bit funny. I am doing my very best to temper my sarcasm and act like a grown up now when I enter the school. Camden had just cried himself to sleep when I pulled up in front of the school so I decide to leave him in the car while I run quickly in to get Ty. Samuel follows me in and as I am opening the door, I realize he has no coat on and no shoes because he took them off in the car. Normally I would not care too much about this, but my ability to provide for my children has already been called into question once today and to be honest with you, once a day is plenty for me. So I try to run back to the car to get his shoes at least, when the secretary hit the button and inadvertently buzzed in Samuel. I saw this occurring and turned to run back and catch the door before it locked but I was late. Now I am on one side of the locked door and Samuel is on the other. Bad, very bad. He takes off like a maniac down the hall. I am finally buzzed in when he hits a corner, turns to look at me, and makes the wrong choice. I honestly could hear what was going on in his brain at that moment. He has been wanting to be let loose in that school for 1.5 years now and he saw his chance. In his looking back at me, he knew he shouldn't, but the sinner in him won and off he went. SO at this point, I have a baby locked alone in a car, a shoeless, coat less 4 year old running like a banshee through the halls of the school, and a 6 year old who has convinced the school nurse I don't feed him. I am having a great day. I finally catch up to Sam, who by the mercy of God, must stop at every drinking fountain he encounters. Definitely slows him down a bit. We walk purposefully back to the office to get Tyler, all the while I have a death grip on Samuel's arm. I am busy signing him out, when in comes Mrs. Kitchenmaster. She kindly tells Tyler she hopes he feels better, greets Samuel, informs him it is too cold not to wear a coat ( thankfully she didn't look down at his bare feet) when Tyler asks where Camden is. I try desperately hard to avoid answering this question until we are outside, but it is not one of those days. Samuel (loudly) replies, "Oh mommy locked him in the car" At this point, I do not even bother to reply. I simply gather up my children and head out to the car. Once in the privacy of my car, I began this buffet of emotion. Even the kids asked me if I was crying or laughing, angry or happy. I could not answer this for I was unable to talk. I beelined to Starbucks, got a grande pumpkin latte, and came home to pretend this day never happened. Miraculously, Tyler's stomach ache is gone shortly after arriving home. I have a feeling this is not what the psalmist meant when he said they will rise up and call me blessed!!!